Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The last 6 months have been crazy for me. I have seen God work in SO many ways. I can still remember the phone call in the middle of the night from my aunt Liz on Dec. 18th. The phone rang & I immediatley knew something wasn't right. I just let it ring. Beau told me I needed to call her back b/c something was definatley wrong. I can still remember her words so well "there's been an accident." My uncle Windale & brother Hank were in a house explosion. At that point I didn't even know if they were going to be okay. I can still remember when I showed up at the hospital in Tulsa, seeing my brother, not knowing how his condition was. He was out of it. I just cried...I went to the bathroom & cried. God was with those two that night & I think about it so much. I remember as we sat in the waiting room that friday night & Beau & I decided to go ahead & tell my mom & step dad that we were going to have another baby. I remember how happy it made them. They both had tears in there eyes they were so happy. We wanted to give them some good news.

Well, we lost that baby & another. I was depressed..... Really depressed. I distanced myself from everyone. I tend to keep to myself when I am having a hard time. We were ready for another baby but I was so scared to get pregnant again. I cannot go through that again. That is what I said after the first time too though. After lots of prayer & time God has given me peace about having two miscarraiges. I had to be content. I know now that God has a plan. I am content with my family of three. I have told God I don't want another baby until he wants me to. I want it all on his time. I am not going to be disappointed each month when I am not pregnant b/c I know HE IS GREAT!! I am thankful for what He has done with my heart.

I had a dream:
It was last week. I had a baby girl. A second baby. It was amazing! I remember how happy I was. SO HAPPY! This dream was SO real to me. I can't even explain it. I believe God was trying to tell me something in this dream. Maybe it was another way of Him giving me comfort. I believe we will have another baby. I believe that is what God was telling me. Only time will tell.

In class Sunday, Glen talked about 10 ways God speaks to us:
6.Miraculous signs
7.The Word of God
8.An audible voice
9.The Holy Spirit
10.Through other people

When he talked about dreams my heart was pounding so hard I think people could see it coming out of my chest. It is so real to me. We shall see. In the meantime, Thank you GOD for all my MANY BLESSINGS!! I have so much! All because of GOD!!
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  1. Becky, you are so incredibly strong. I look up to you and pray that I can have your strength. I know you have had a tough year, but yet you are optimistic and that is wonderful! I am here if you ever need anything or want to talk.

  2. Becky, it is so wonderful of you to give it all to HIM. He is the only one who can give us comfort. You are such a blessing to me and my family!!

  3. This gave me the chills Becky! I am so blessed to have you in my life!!